~* REFLECTION ON 2010 *~

2010 has been one crazy year! I have been emotionally, physically drained & the same with my family. We have lost a lot of people well they chose to walk out of our lives & I can honestly say life is better with out them, less drama but it hurts to see how hateful family can be but it is their loss & they are the ones missing out on a lot that they may never be able to be apart of. Saw the true side of people, people that I considered to be "family" and then they go behind my back to talk to others placing judgment about me but all I can do is walk away because I'm a bigger person & pray for them. Mom having surgery & then going down hill, having to take care of her. Being hospitalized & having 2 surgeries & going through complications, being told I never should of had children & its a miracle I have them & that survived childbirth. Moving in to a new home & knowing that people actually wanted this to happen or to ruin a family but you know all you took was a house you didn't destroy me or my family because the love & memories is still with us & it actually brought us closer & stronger:) A lot has happened this past year but now that I look back at everything life is better & more beautiful because of us going through this & I am a stronger women for it. I'm closer to my mom & step dad, we have a better home & are happier, I'm blessed with beautiful children & an amazing husband, family & marriage is stronger & we are closer, and everyone that has chose to walk out of our lives or to hurt me with their words has only made me stronger & I found the real me someone you will never get to know & life is more peaceful with out all the drama they brought before. I am truly grateful for all the ones that are still in our lives & that are true, to the new friends I have now well actually you are more then friends you are family & to the beautiful life I have. I am ready to start 2011 with a new out look on life & there will be many changes, big one to that & unfortunately some more people will be out of my life but I can't live a life full of drama, 2faced people, hatred, people that only say they care for you because they are nosy or do anything they can to get attention and unfortunately its negative, people full of negativeness. After everything I have been through this past year I see things & people in a different light.... you need to embrace the day & all of your blessings, be helpful, caring, loving, say a kind word or just a smile & don't cast judgment upon others, take life slow, enjoy everything around you, know how blessed you are & let the ones you care for know how much they are loved, stop to smell the roses, laugh more....enjoy life & all that is thrown & handed to you....because no matter how bad things seem in the end when you look back at everything you have been through a blessing came out of it. So here is to a better, stronger, happier, healthier me, more beautiful family, and an amazing year:)

Love you all♥

New school year & new changes :)

My oh my where did the summer go?! There is so many changes & fresh starts going on in our lives & specially mine:) This past Monday was my last day of running my daycare, after 10 years of doing daycare I closed my doors so I can go to school full time and get my degree in Nursing and Medical Assistant. The kids started school this Tuesday and so far they are loving it....here is to a awesome & good year!
Besides the daycare closing & school starting for me & the kids I have started working out again & so I can get fit & I am LOVING IT:) I also have done a lot of soul searching found an awesome church & going again & putting GOD in charge of my life & by doing that I had to rid my life of all the negative things & to stop worrying about what people think or say but know my family is happy & so am I and we are doing wonderful. Still fighting the inner battle and its gotten pretty bad but I am over coming it & getting stronger. Also dealing with my health problems two weeks ago I was in the hospital for a blood transfusion & Wednesday I will be having a biopsy done...praying that I don't have cancer but all I can do is put it in God's hands.

Here are a couple of pictures of what has been going on.








































































































I cant believe how fast my babies are growing up! Johnathon in 8th, Nathaniel in 7th, Andrea in 5th & Madelyn in 2nd! Cherish every moment & take life and everything you go through One step-one day at a time ♥ find the beauty & peace within everyone& everything ♥ take time for the simple things in life ♥ count your many blessings ♥ for life is beautiful & amazing ♥

~Finding Peace~

(You must trust when all else fails)"Who against hope believed in hope, that he might become the father of many nations, according to that which was spoken, So shall thy seed be.And being not weak in faith, he considered not his own body now dead, when he was about an hundred years old, neither yet the deadness of Sarah's womb. Romans 4:18-19"

This is something I have to remember...to trust and to keep my faith in GOD I know he will guide me in the right direction and make peace with in me. But I just cant stop this battle that is going on inside of me I want it to STOP!!!!I'm torn about finding a job after 10 years of not working...I know I have to and I want to but I feel like there is so much pressure on me to find one and I don't understand why. I mean when my husband was laid off and we only had my income coming I was fine with supporting my family but I feel like he does not want to take on the responsibility of it while I am looking.So I tell him I will drop out of school so I can get a job now and he tells me NO I am not doing that. Then when I was on facebook I see he is friends with a girl our marriage counselor told him to brake all ties from if he wants our marriage to work.So now am I battling the bad feelings about not being able to take care of my family but the old issues of wondering if he truly wants to stay married to me is coming back.I feel like just running away and not coming back. I hate these feelings that I am dealing with. I know I need to stop, take a breath & pray and turn everything over to GOD and let him handle everything and guide me in the right direction. But I can't help to think maybe I should of left in March and we would not be going through this right now. I try to put on the "happy " face and pretend everything is going wonderfully and be positive but I cant I see me building a wall up and not letting anyone in and I don't want to go there or be that bitter person.
But even though I am going through these feeling right now I am making it a wonderful and fun summer for my kids. I think my new residence is outside:) Every day we are at the pool or at the beach.






My kids and daycare kids enjoying the pool:)











Building sandcastles☼




Its been relaxing and enjoyable so far this summer. And I found out yesterday that my mom finally gets to come home this Thursday after being gone for 3 weeks:) The kids and I are so excited we have missed her and we will be celebrating Father's Day on Sunday.....we waited for her to be home to celebrate it. Starting now...today I am embracing the day it is my day and following the Lord for he will place me on the right path and I know keeping my faith in him I will have peace and everything will work out!!!!

~ Feeling blahhhhh until.......~

Even though we was finally able to go outside and play and the sun did come out for a little I have felt very blahhhhhh all day. My son Nate (13) and I have been going at it and he has been fighting with his other brother (also 13).....let me give you a little back ground on Nate he has Tourette's , ADD/ADHD with anger & really bad impulses if not on his medication. And he has not been on it now for 2 days because of insurance but will be back on it tomorrow. His doctor is trying to get him to realise how his attitude and the impulses affect others if not he wont be able to what he wants and that is to become a Marine & police officer. Just when I was giving up on any hope of him seeing this and just wanted to go to my room and cry he comes up to me and goes...

NATE: mom i know i have been bad today and have been testing you but i am sorry. i love you mom and all you do for and the family.
MOM: nate........*crying now* i love you and that means a lot to me.

Then my youngest daughter goes......

MADDIE: who wants to hear a story i wrote
MOM & DAD: we do!!!!
MADDIE: its called Mommy & Daddy. I love you mommy and daddy alot. Thay are funny. They are a fary good shef. Thay owys macke the best colad ever. And thay macke the best brones ever to.
The EnD
MOM & DAD: that is very good sweetie
MADDIE: thank you im starting to become a arthor.


Couldn't help but smile and laugh. Just when I thought my day couldn't get better God sent me two little reminders of how good life is. Children can always cheer you up. Oh here is what it says when spelled right."It's called Mommy & Daddy. I love you mommy and daddy a lot. They are funny. They are very good chefs. They always make the best koolaide ever. And they make the best brownies to. The End." I just love the way little ones write when they are still learning....so cute:)

SWAGGER WAGON

I love this video:) And to think I use to say I would never drive a mini van....well I ♥ my swagger wagon. My boys told me for Christmas they are getting me a license plate that says swagger wagon on it cause we drive one....got to love my boys:)

♥* It's The Little Things In Life *♥

Sitting this morning while all the kids are asleep and my husband is at work I took time and cleared my head of all the negative things and really thought about all GOD has blessed me with and how sometimes I take it for granted. And don't thank him for all the little things in life such as...........


The girls came running out of their room on the first day of summer vacation ready to go to the pool!!!!!






















All my kids on Nathan's graduation.....their smiles can always brighten your day:)











The innocent conversation in the morning over breakfast!











My amazing life as a wife!!!!!











I mean I complain a lot about my husband not spending that much time with us because he is always at the fire station but when I take a step back I knew what we was taking on becoming a fire fighters house. And I am so proud to say I am a firefighters' wife. And all the kids are doing is fighting and driving me crazy...but when they come up to me and tell me they love me or just see them acting crazy everything else they do doesn't matter.I wouldn't trade my life as wife or mom for anything it is the most rewarding, fun, crazy ride of my life. No matter what life throws at me or my family we are truly blessed with so much.....the love for each other, all the laughter and fun times we have. Those are the things that mean the most not what size your house is, what you buy, what kind of car you drive or trying to keep up with "Jones' " but its what you are building.....the memories & love.I can say life is good & I am truly happy with my amazing life:)



~ On another positive note my mom is doing so awesome.....she gets to come home the end of this week still has to do therapy at home & out patient therapy at the doctors. But she is walking on her own with walker. And everything else is doing well for her. God is so amazing & answers prayers~

♥ Crazy & Blessed Life ♥

I am enjoying my summer vacation and as of this afternoon my kids will be on summer vacation also.I can not wait we have so much that we plain on doing....beach, picnics, parks, cookouts its going to be so much fun!!!!Only thing I am not looking forward to is in August I will be closing my daycare doors after 10 years :( so I am making this the funnest summer for all the kids! Besides having fun with my family and all the kids I also have a lot to do with the fire department and helping my mom.

My mom just had knee replacement surgery on June 1st. I know it is an easy procedure but for my mom it was high risk due to all her medical problems and the medication she is on. They kept her on her blood thinners up to the day of her surgery ( not only was she on pills but also shots) her surgery and recovery was faster then they thought but once she was in her room they had a hard time keeping her blood pressure down so yesterday they put her on high dosages of blood pressure medication to lower it (it was 189/99) when they got her up to walk it was hard for her do she said her legs just didn't want to work but she did take two steps ( so proud of her).Putting her in God's hands and I know that she will recover fine.

Its taking a toll on me between trying to keep up with everything in the house, daycare, meetings at the fire department and all that they are doing, my kids sports and practices, and taking care of my mom and cleaning her house. I pray for strength to get everything done that needs to done and do it all with a loving heart but I am getting tested by sister and sometimes my step-dad. They are always throwing it in my face that my sister takes my mom everywhere...to her doctor appointments, store, where ever she has to go, and they act like I do nothing for her. I go to her house with my kids and do the yard work, clean the house, do her running around when she asks. I do all this and everything I have to do in my life....kids sports, clean, cook, school, study, practice, meetings.I understand my sister works too but at night and that is it her schedule isn't nearly as busy as mine and when she does do things and take mom places she asks like she is only doing it to get the "perfect daughter award" when you should be doing it because she is your mom! I just wish they would see I do just as much as my sister and I don't even want anything in return for doing it.

I guess all I can do is pray for strength and the ability to forgive. To leave everything in the past and to move on and to love unconditionally and know what I am doing is my best and God knows that and those that hurt me and my family and cause drama will have to meet their judgment in the end and the only thing I can do is leave everything with God & to forgive.

* I am going to update this more...sometimes it'll short but im updating:) *

~10 Ways to Make Your Home a Haven~

1. Let kindness reign. Determine to treat your children and spouse with the same sweetness you'd give a stranger you're trying to impress. Remember it's God's kindness that leads us to repentance. What makes us think anything different would evoke our children's repentance?

2. Welcome hard questions. It's okay to question. You did it, didn't you? Give your children the same leeway. Let them vent. Let them worry. Welcome their wrestling. Don't give pat answers; instead, let them work through their questions. Love them through a period of questioning.

3. Be there. Give your children the rare gift of your focused attention. Look into their eyes. Ask great questions. Relax alongside them. Dr. Ross Campbell says, "In short, focused attention makes a child feel he is the most important person in the world in his parents' eyes."

4. Limit media. Steer your children away from mindless interaction with the TV or video games. Set limits and stick to them. Dare to believe your children are creative, innovative kids who can create instead of idly recreate.

5. Play outside. We've lost the importance of outdoor play. Even if it means walking to the park with your kids, or swimming alongside them, or taking a nature hike, dare to move beyond the four walls of your home to venture out to see God's creation.

6. Weep and rejoice at the right times. We are to weep with those who weep and rejoice with those who rejoice (Romans 12:15). When a child has a difficult day, scoop her into your arms and cry alongside. When she makes a great grade, jump up and down and celebrate with ice cream.

7. Cherish childhood. Our kids grow up so fast in this crazy culture. Keep them kids as long as you can. Let them play, run, stretch, linger. Limit activities when they're younger so they don't become little stressed-out adults at age ten.

8. Read together. The most haven-producing thing I do as a mommy is simply to read to my kids. I still read to my fourteen year old! Discover books on CD as a family, lessening the tedium of car rides without popping in a DVD. My kids have stayed in the car to listen to a story finish.

9. Laugh hard, but not at another's expense. Joking and laughter are blessings you can add to create a fun-loving haven, but be cautious not to laugh at your kids' expense or allow them to laugh at yours or others' expense. Watch funny, clean movies together. Tell jokes. Tell funny family stories over and over until they become ridiculous. A lighthearted family that doesn't take itself too seriously is a haven-home.

10. Practice God's presence in the mundane. Require chores of your kids. It teaches them important life skills. Even so, introduce joy as you work. Turn on the radio, dance, laugh. By learning to practice the presence of God during the chores of life, you create a productive, gratitude-based home.

~What a crazy life~

This year so far has been crazy! The year started off good but in early March we found out my father-in-law was letting the house go up for foreclosure he was taking are money and not making the house payments, he also told my husband that him and the kids could stay there but i would have to leave....well my darling husband didn't like that idea so we ended up moving. Its a smaller house but everyone is happy again. I believe it what a blessing that all this happened I mean my childrens' health has improved and no longer sick and the smiles on their face makes it all worth it.It does still hurt that this all happened but only because i don't understand how family can be that cruel to one another. My moms health is not doing any better either she goes in for knee replacement surgery on June 1st. the doctors do not want to do surgery because of all her health problems but there is nothing left for them to do. So I putting her in GOD'S hands and he will see her through. The spring semester has ended and thank goodness it was a long and rough semester this time. But I am so thankful I passed Psychology with a C and A & P with a B. I am taking the summer off so I can help my parents and then I will start back up Aug.23 full time. I am not looking forward to August though because August 16 will be my last day of my daycare and I will be closing the doors after 10 years.But all my children are in school and it is time for me to start the next chapter of my life and that is finishing my degree in Medical Assistant and Nursing LPN.

I have decided to take this summer and every day and count all my blessings no matter how big or small, the good times and the bad times. I need enjoy everything my kids are getting so big so fast and need to enjoy this time we have. So much is going to go on so many family adventures I cant wait. And I am so happy that my husband and I just celebrated our 10 year wedding anniversary this month. We have been through a lot but it has only made us stronger as a couple. Because " What the Lord has brought together let no man or anything come between". I am turning more to GOD and finally letting him guide my life and family's because with out him we would not be where we are today and he has blessed me so much that I am truly thankful for. Just need to get back to church still working on finding the strength to go back. I know I need to but I am afraid to because of everything that has happened with my husbands side of the family and us ( and that is their church too) I am afraid of drama that might start but i know i should not let no one come between me & GOD and where I feel i should worship.

Well that is all for now & my goal is to blog regularly not this far apart:)
xoox

New Year & New Beginings

So much has happened this past year good and bad. Johnathon lost his job, lost what I thought was good friends, Andrea started having seizures again, reconnecting with old friends and family, Johnathon getting fireman of the year, school going good and losing 106 pounds, making new friends. As I go over what all happened I realized I am truly blessed with so much in my life. By keeping my faith and turning to GOD he made sure our needs where taken care of, I removed all negativity and drama from my life and my family's.
I've changed a lot this past year and found myself again. I am so looking forward to 2010and seeing what is in-store. I know this year will be brighter and better Johnathon starts his new job Jan.4, school is going awesome, losing my last 64 pounds, Johnathon and mine 10 year wedding anniversary, and so much more. This year will be less drama, going to take life slow, enjoy everything, not let things get to me, rid my life of all the fake and 2faced people in it. Live life closer to GOD and my family, going to stop yelling and getting mad over stupid things.
I'm so thankful for all in my life and for what GOD has blessed me with. Because without him in my life I would still be lost and we never would of made it through 2009.
So here is to a better and brighter year and a better me. Remember to take life slow, enjoy everything, don't let the little things bring you down, thank and praise GOD, family is everything and no one needs to deal with drama, fake and 2faced people they only bring you down.
Have a wonderful, drama free, AWESOME and AMAZING 2010. I will keep you updated on things.
xooxooxoxox